I KILLED SOMEONE

 I KILLED SOMEONE

trigger warning - blood mentioned, might be anxiety inducing.

'why did you had to do this?' I scream at her. Holding the body of the person she just...without an ounce of guilt, ripped apart. It's some familiar unknown, taking their last few breathes in my arms, 'please live' the person says to me, ' I want to see you happy' I can feel their helplessness even if I can't recognise their face, in between their long heavy breathes 'promise me?' I try to hold their wound trying to stop all the blood flowing but it isn't helping 'promise?' they ask again 'I do, I do, you won't die either please don't give up' I am crying for them. 'my time is up....' they sound like smiling, and they take a long breathe and go silent, I check their pulse 'no, no, no, this cant be happening' They died in my arms, my hands are soaking their blood and turning me in an uncomfortable shade of maroon. I am getting paralyzed by the sight in front of me. I don't know who they are but- but- They shouldn't have died like this.

. She is ruthless, I saw it all, the way she didn't even hesitate to stab them with the sharpest blade, slicing their chest inside out, and the pulling out the dagger as if it was nothing, I should have stopped her. She is standing in front of me with roses in her hand, the same hands that has their blood on. 'Dont waste your tear on this.' she speaks with a gentleness in her voice, if I didn't knew better I would have said she is an angel by the way her aura felt. 'I had no other choice.' she is sincere about this, I just know she is, even if I want to not believe.

. 'Couldn't you have made it work without this?' My feet are warming up as I am standing in the puddle of blood. 'Somethings are just bad. They cannot be changed, no matter how much you try, it was irredeemable.' She walks away leaving a trail behind her, of her footsteps on the floor, imprinted by their blood. She has her back turned towards me, standing in front of window, half broken half bloody. Her gown is maroon, same like the blood spread on the floor, finely embroiled with gemstones shining like stars, black and white. 'You will thank me later for the favor I did upon you.' She turns towards me, the light dispersing from the corners of broken glass of window coronated her with a crown. Her eyes are blindfolded and hid within a veil but she is aware of her surrounding very well. The sky outside was pink with subtle hint of red.

. 'What's makes you to be so sure that this was right? where is your conscience?' she laughs 'You will change by the end if it' Her voice echoed making my blood boil, No. I wont, I have a morale. 'why would I?' 'to live' her lips turn into an upright curve. 'that does not explain you murdering someone.' her smile is still wide but her face seems sad, misunderstood. We stand there in silence 'you want to kill me, don't you?' The air around me smells of iron and bloodlust, it's suffocating me. 'yes I do' She leans on the wall behind her for support, she seems weak but why is she letting her vulnerability seen to me? 'so what are you waiting for? A reason to forgive me? I killed it, that lowly creature, I am no God neither are you, I wont answer you for my sins'

. I tried to not do same thing as hers, my mind was making all sorts of assumptions, reasons, to explain this, but my heart didn't felt the same. My body moved on own as I saw me, picking up an old knife laying on the floor beside the corpse and before I know, the knife is piercing right through her heart, But She stands still without a shake on her smile or change in her body, but her dagger drops forming a mandala on the floor. 'Why am I feeling so much for a stranger and for you ? Why wont you answer me?' My voice is trembling, I have rage bursting my insides. Why am I feeling the pain and empathy for her? She is a cruel murderer, a devil in disguise of divinity. 'If I told you, you wouldn't have done this'. 'Do you really think so?' I push the knife in just a bit more and her smile widens,I twist it and there came a satisfaction on her face that kept itching my soul. She was right, I changed, I changed, I have a person's blood on my hand. Her mouth is full of blood spilling out but there is, still pride in her smile. A tear full of anger escapes from my eyes for her.

. 'It was inevitable, we both know that we are on borrowed time' I don't know what she means but I understood. 'Who are you? Why did I do this, I am sorry. I am so sorry' I am crying with fury for both of them, and for me, I am grieving for people I have barely known.

. 'If you want give us peace, live a life for yourself, be happy.' I nod, leaning my head on her shoulder 'and when you leave this room , Dont turn back. You might regret it.' I'm trying to understand what today means, what she meant but I cannot make sense. 'I am sorry' 'don't be' she gives her brightest smile and falls on the floor, cold, her body starts turning pale, with the old blunt Knife in her heart.

. I grab the roses from her hand, they have blood on them, of both of them. And make my way out of the room, But curiosity got better of me. I went back to her, removed the blindfold from her eyes. Her eyes were made of mirror, all I could see was reflection of my own. My hands stained maroon and my blood soaked gown. I know now. I know everything now.

When I walked out of the room, I left it as it was, with glass shards on the floor, and pearls covered with blood.

I left back two familiar corpse, but carried their blood on the roses and on my hand.

I left the room, known to the curse, the answers of who they were.

I walked out as a killer of my own-self, I witnessed my future kill my past.

I walked out to live a life in present, and to grieve the dead .

I walked out with a smile, promising me to live a life they wished.